I woke up a little later than usual this morning with no intention of writing. I had a pretty upsetting dream that had me mindlessly bumping my way around the kitchen. I was obviously in some fog still considering the dream and its vivid images. As I found can often be a lazy habit, I was impatient.
If it were possible I think I would seriously consider brushing and flossing my teeth simultaneously! Sometimes I've shown up to appointments 15 to 20 minutes early. I pretend to be a supernatural planner, but this act further demonstrates my impatience. Why does my mind want to get through this experience and move so quickly on to the next one?
"Hurry up and wait," I tell myself. This makes me laugh at my mind's silliness.
Jack Kornfield recounts a story in which he's riding by taxi with his teacher, Ajahn Chah, in rural Cambodia. Their driver is navigating his old Toyota through the narrow roads at breakneck speeds. Jack's teacher suggests to the driver, "please slow down," but he either ignores him or doesn't hear the request. The roads were very narrow and collisions with oncoming traffic were often avoided only in the last few moments. Jack recalls feeling like he was surely going to die that day. He noticed his teacher was also "white-knuckling" the ride. But when they arrived at the destination Ajahn Chah merely turned and said to Jack, "scary ride wasn't it?"
This is what I've heard referred to as being the thermostat and not the thermometer when it comes to dealing with our feelings and arising emotions. We practice mindfulness not to change how things are, but to more clearly see them as they are. With this, I feel less resistant to life's moments. The word grace comes to mind.
"Fear kills more people than death." -General George Patton
Or, as motivational and success coach, Steve Chandler puts it: "Death kills us but once, and many times we never see it coming. But fear kills us over and over again." (from his book 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself)
What about the moments when there is no fear present yet a scary situation still exists? We've all heard of a mother having the ability to lift an automobile off her trapped child. Did she stop and take time to consider the facts? Unknowingly, she circumvented a bodily organ (the mind, which would only over-analyze the situation), her true nature kicked in and she freed the child.
A man told me personally that if I didn't want to be scared all the time, then I should stop thinking scary thoughts. I believe what he meant was, I should stop "clinging" to scary thoughts. But all the same, fear was my mind's state this morning. Can I see the situation for what it is without being drawn into all the "drama" of the mind's association with the feeling? I know I've touched on this before, but if anything, this blog reminds my thinking self what my heart/soul/spirit already knows to be true.
"Practice, practice, practice." -D.O.D. (my) Dear Ol' Dad
It really is all or nothing when it comes to this. 99% isn't good enough. I cannot merely be mindful while sitting in meditation alone on my cushion. As my friend and author Jim Dreaver tells me (as it was told to him by his mentor, Jean Klein), we may think on the mountain top, but we must live in the workplace. And what better place to practice mindfulness than at the grocery store! We've all shared the experience of waiting in line to buy groceries. The mind is anxious. It can transfer its restless energy into our tapping foot, or manifest itself in some belabored sighing while we wait for the "slow pokes" in front of us to finish purchasing all their "crap".
"Now she's writing a check, what the hell, this is 2013 who still writes checks?" we scream so loud inside our own skulls.
"Does he really need to purchase that many donuts? Come on hurry up fatty!" again speaking in silence, more harsh thoughts.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the people in line behind us are thinking similar impatient thoughts regarding our purchases! Instead, why not try some deep breathing with eyes closed while waiting in line. Surely we're up to date on the latest Hollywood gossip. We need not glance at the trashy newspapers placed perfectly at eye level.
By practicing mindfulness in the small, non-emergency situations, we start to hone new skills for more peaceful daily living. Try it next time you're in line. Who knows, you might actually start to enjoy waiting and can make it a time for... please remind us again Dad: practice, practice, practice.
Peace and love from the desert,
Carl
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