"It never hurts to see the good in another being. They often act the better because of it." -Nelson Mandela

We are grasping at the low hanging fruit on the tree of life, when we lazily assume traits about someone based on first impressions. We cite cute sayings like, "you can't judge a book by its cover," when describing our beat-up, yet reliable old car. But later we might be conducting a job interview with a "different" looking fellow, and this thought pops in our heads: "you never get a second chance to make a first impression."

Well which is it? I know, it's very subjective. We've all had the experience of helping a friend move their possessions. We say, "(and I believe this was a twist on a George Carlin joke) man, you sure got a lot of shit," at which our buddy replies, "hey dude, take it easy with my stuff!"

Are we so conditioned to seeing things skin deep? Or can we open our imagination and wonder what it really might be like to walk in the other person's shoes?

When Albert Einstein was asked about how he came up with the Theory of Relativity, he humbly replied, "you would have discovered it too- if that's all you ever thought about." He has also said there was a large discrepancy between people's ideas of his accomplishments and what he actually achieved. We would imagine this man to have the largest ego of them all, but it's not so. Einstein even wore the same type of clothes every day (black suit, white shirt, black tie) so as not to consume his brain's capacity worrying about outfits to wear each morning.

How dedicated are we to treating each other better? Are these words in a blog merely some feelgood rah-rah stuff to stroke our egos? Are we telling ourselves that we're goodhearted folks, but then quickly return to the lazy habits (judgments, opinions, negative attitudes) that create further separation from our fellows?

I don't know about you, but I've tried cheer-leading my ego and the results were similar to applying a band-aid to a chest wound. I've listened in earnest to many self-help tapes, signed my life away with the gym contracts and even considered extreme measures like surgery for my belly fat. But still something deeper inside of me was always left unfulfilled.

Searching for the meaning of life? Seeking true happiness? Is nirvana a place to which I can physically travel? Try entering NIRVANA as your destination in Google Maps and you'll be directed to a 4 star restaurant in Beverly Hills! Hmmm, maybe good food is nirvana? That would seem very Zen-like... or not.

(Warning: sentimental anecdotal evidence ahead... or not. But then again does it really matter?)

A suicide note found a few miles from the Golden Gate Bridge read, "if just one person waves or smiles, maybe I won't jump."

I sure hope someone did wave or smile, what about you? Then again, does it really matter? Commercial advertisements tell me "I gotta go get mine," or "to have it my way." But I do realize corporations aren't people, don't I? Then why am I drawn like a moth to a flame when showered with these impersonalized promises of paradise? And it can all be mine for only 64 easy payments of $19.95 (while supplies last of course).

"I had opinions that didn't matter. I had a brain that felt like pancake batter." -The White Stripes (from the song "The Hardest Button to Button")

Re-programming our thought patterns can create awareness, and we can avoid these faulty cause and effect relationships when it comes to connecting with people:

-That guy has a grumpy look on his face, oh I bet he's such a grump!

Or, perhaps we base the character of someone by an isolated statement they made:

-Oh she lied to me once in the past; therefore, she's a liar!

Are we brave enough to choose compassion and loving kindness today? Am I too scared to look silly and treat others nicely without wanting anything in return? Entering similar situations, but pausing to see people anew each and every time, adds a freshness to life. Try looking into a stranger's eyes without fear or judgment. It's not so easy, is it? Or maybe it's quite possibly the easiest thing we never had to learn. Look back at the picture above. Can you find any fear or judgment in those eyes?

She's probably just an example of another cute baby barely worthy of our adult attention (goo-goo, ga-ga). Or maybe she serves a more universal role as a living, breathing, signpost pointing us back in the direction of our own true nature (oh thank you master baby).

“You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.” -Wayne Dyer

So much metta so little blog,
Carl

PS- aside from what sounds like a pretty nice restaurant, the Sanskrit word, nirvana, is more appropriately defined as not resisting the way things are. Okay, but what's the address?!